


November 1st 1981

by sea_of_different_stars



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Gen, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:24:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22800166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sea_of_different_stars/pseuds/sea_of_different_stars
Summary: 'And in the blink of an eye, Remus has lost everything he had ever known'This is a fic about the day after the Potters were murdered by Voldemort and Remus is in denial
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	November 1st 1981

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there,  
> This is my first fic so any constructive criticism is welcome.
> 
> Also all characters in this work belong to JK Rowling

‘James Potter is dead.’

No he’s not. He can’t be. Remus had seen him only two weeks before. It had been such a long time since they’d seen each other now the Potters were in hiding, but it was worth making the trip in between Order work to see them. He remembered James that day. He had looked so defeated, so haggard. It was hard to believe that he was only 21. That they all were. But he supposed that’s what the war does to you. James had seemed strained that evening. Tense and clipped at dinner. But then Harry pulled out the broom Sirius had given him. And in an instant all his troubles were forgotten in favour of attempting to teach Harry the finer points of flying, or at the very least teaching him to stay away from Lily’s china. It was the first time James had seemed like himself in months and Remus had left their cottage hopeful.

‘Lily Evans is dead’

No she’s not. That’s impossible. Remus had just received a letter from her two days ago. She had been reminiscing on their time at Hogwarts. She said that she wished she could go back, that she still had so much she wanted to learn. Remus thought that if she hadn’t been forced into the Order, if this war hadn’t stolen their futures, she would have worked at the Ministry. She was always passionate about change and she loved the Wizarding World with all her heart, he had no doubt in his mind that she would have dedicated her life in order to making it a better place. A place muggleborns could belong. Where no one cared if you were a pure blood or a half blood or a muggleborn. Remus hoped that after the war she would consider working at the Ministry. He could think of no one better to lead the Wizarding World into a brighter future.

‘Peter Pettigrew is dead’

No he’s not. That can’t be right. Remus had been planning to visit him in his secure location. He thought Peter might be lonely so he was planning a surprise visit. He hadn’t seen Peter in weeks. The last he saw, Peter was frightened. Terrified of the responsibility the Secret Keeper held. He broke down crying in front of Remus. He felt so much pressure and he thought he couldn’t handle it. Remus comforted him. He reassured him, telling him that James wouldn’t have picked him if he thought he would crack. That he was just as strong a Gryffindor as the rest of them. That Remus admired him for taking on this responsibility. Peter had left a few hours later with a renewed spirit, committed to protecting his best friends once more. Remus had left with a newfound respect for Peter. For putting himself in danger to save his friends, but not being delusional enough to be anything but terrified about it. It astounded Remus how he was still being surprised by his friends after all this time.

‘Sirius Black has been sentenced to life in Azkaban’

No he’s not. There’s no way. Remus had seen him a week ago. They had taken a ride on Sirius’ flying motorcycle because Sirius needed to do something. He was sick of being helpless, sick of waiting for You-Know-Who to make a move, sick of visiting James in secret. Up in the moonlit clouds Sirius bared his soul to Remus. He talked about his fear of the Death Eaters, the guilt he felt about his brothers death, the anxiety about the prophecy. Remus reassured him. He wasn’t going to end up like his family, bowing to the Dark Lord. He wasn’t responsible for Regulus’ death, he had tried to convince him to leave the Death Eaters. The prophecy wouldn’t hurt his loved ones, it was a storm to be weathered and it was ending soon. Remus left Sirius hoping he would be okay. He only had to get through these hard times ahead before he could live his whole life without fear or pain. 

‘Harry Potter has been given to Vernon and Petunia Dursley’

No he hasn’t. That can’t be true. Remus had heard Lily lamenting her relationship with Petunia only last month. She had refused their invitation for a dinner to introduce her to Harry. Petunia had no interest in getting to know her freak of a nephew and refused to see Lily face-to-face. Remus had found Lily crying silently in her kitchen, cursing Petunia with every breath. She couldn’t understand how her own sister could hate her son, a baby she didn’t even know, so much. How she could be so cruel to a newborn, a blank slate, that she had no reason to hate beyond her fractured relationship with Lily. Remus had listened to her talk and promised to keep Harry away from Petunia. After all if she could have this much hate for a baby she’d never met, she would no doubt despise the wizard he would grow up to be.

‘The war is over. We won’

No we didn’t. We can’t have. Winning shouldn’t come at the cost of everyone you’ve ever loved. Winning isn’t your friends lying dead around you because you just happened to be at the right place at the right time. How can the war be over when people still hate muggleborns? How can the war be done if people still think purebloods should be the only wizards taught? How can we say Voldemort is vanquished when his doctrine is still being passed around? But if we didn’t win, did we lose? We must have. Losing is the only explanation for the murder of the Potters. For the death of Peter Pettigrew. The imprisonment of Sirius Black. The massacre of the McKinnon family. The torture of the Longbottoms. But yet, Voldemort is dead so we surely won.

But I guess winning came at a cost.

If I had known the cost, would I have fought the war?

I don’t know.


End file.
